so here i am again..been'vewanting to do this for ages but never bothered till now...Guez sumhw human jz nid 2 sae it out....
So earlier in e mrg wen 2 work s usual and tinkin' e day wld b fine bt then again it din.....msg onc in e mrg s usual bt s usual no rplies...wen hola he'l jz cancel w/o gettin' bk unlez i sms him then he'l rply....n s usual hw i wish he'd jz spare a min or two jz 2 kal n start out my dae wit a smiley 1 lk he did 1 yr plus ago bt he din instead he he sa yhe nid 2 kal customer n then i saw he left a message in fb sayin' his smokin'..wen i sms him sincerely sayin' if he cnt kal then nvm jz let mi noe, he replied 'wait..wait...cnt wait isit.....gosh...i sincerely sms him tt wae bt end up gettin' tt rply frm him....haiz...
Then there was lunchie wit department coz HQ was goin' on maternity from nxt tue onwards ...tat was another crappy lunchie...s usual felt lil weird bt thk god thr was dave aka bengteck & Jamie...bt stil was lil outcast sumhw...n wt made it worst was wen i told RO tt im headin' 4 prayer she gave tt irritatin' luk of hers s usual...sumtimes i reli wonder wt did i do wrong tt she's givin' e sian face each time i ask or say something to her..lk tt wasnt enuf, aftr lunch hd 2 transfer past years documents 2 another room...while doin' so, one of the stack of documents that was tied with rafia actuali gave in and e stack of documents jz fell...n she gave tt face again...
Wth...!!!argh!!!!lk it was mi fault tt hapen....gosh....!!!
Anyway, Just came back from JB with onc & his camp homies...wen i met him, i jz feel lk thr's a wall btwn us sumhw...bt then again i jz let it slip..in e car also we weren't tt close sumhw....i reli dunoe wt his tinkin' n i reli wish i knew...i wonder his behavin' this way coz of wt i said 'aftr PD we'l go separate ways' or his reaction is tellin' mi tt he'd already chose 2 let me go or & b wit tt gal .....
im tryin' nt tink 2 much bt sumhw my gut feelin' is sayin' so...its reli frustratin' & mentally tirin' 2 b in tiz situation whr u r hangin'....haiz....ive gt 3more wks to go till PD...n i guez ttz al i hv left wit him since he made his decisions already by his reactions i guez....s ppl tend to say 'action speaks louder than words'
hmmz....i bet this time, mi hearts gona b broken even more than previous breakup...i hope godwill gib mi e strength to move on sooner than i expect. N hopefully can stil concentrate on my daily work& nt 2 have sleeplez nitez too..haiz......
i guez tiz is al 4 2nite....
ps ~ i wonder when wil al these shitty feelin' b ovr..
tinkerbel'z outz
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