2dae work was so so...im very worried actually that MW wld scold me tml due to the defer case and also the transfer of course...bcoz the case was since 9 mar..haiz...im so worried she mite say im sittin' on it coz its e end of e mth...haiz....it bother's mi alot coz im so worried she'l blame mi...haiz....wen 2 vivian b4 leaving e office bt sigh....she oso cnt do netink coz e defer case is btwn mi n PE...n transfer case is btwn mi n MW's bestie.....argh...!!!wen wil al e shit @ work cum 2 an end....or shal i say shit in life...
n itz thursday nite n im @ home tinkin' wil i c him tml? hmmz...i reli duno n i doubt he'l mit mi tml.....for the past 2days his been actin' differently....no doubt he din hola mi up ytdae nite wen he said he wld bt he did leave a miz kal thou...n he even sms mi in e mrg 2 apologies 4 nt kalin' mi 2 kiz mi gdnite b4 i sms him...hmmz....im so afraid this is another rebound moment 4 him 2wards mi...so tired if its true....
he did told mi on tues nite tt he aint gona mit mi on saturday coz he hv soccer?soccer on sat??4 real???s much s i 1 2 blieve its true another part of mi have e hesitation 2 do so...coz e laz time he told mi he have soccer session with his bro, he actually wen club wit his guyfrenz...haiz....sat is our day bt i duno hw he cn jz say no 2 mi...perhaps his jz nt tt into mi nemore..sum1 reminded mi nt 2 assume stuff bt sumhw mi guts r always true so hw cn i nt blieve?haiz...so which 1 shld i blieve?another non-stop confusion...
i duno if i shld make e song tt ive composed 4 him these few days...?was tinkin' it cld reli b e laz time we're so called celebratin' anni....mite s wel jz give al tt i hv...hd plans 2 cook 4 him his fav. dish tt i nvr did cooked b4..i duno if its worth doin' so a nt...bt i do rmbr wt ppl said...giv e bez shot coz u'l nvr noe wen is e nxt time u cn do it....haiz....
i wish i c e future so i noe hw 2 overcome any situation...haiz...
mentally tired....
Thursday, 31 March 2011
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
e drug 2 ma desease....
early in e mrg tummy hurts...gosh..felt so draggy....thk god i manage 2 reach office despite e tummyache...
work was so so 2day bt s usual....got scolded by I77LLI a lil wen its nt my fault at all AGAIN!!!argh!!!!hw wld i noe changing the course name wld affect the previous year student?gosh....it's e 2nd time abt FPS which i get e blame 4 no reason....wth........she shld b e 1 informing me about it otherwise hw wld i noe...gosh...nearly 4yrs of experience is obviously beta than a 7mths xperience person rite?duh....N i finali realize she is a childish person....gosh....mad wit ppl stil cn put it inmsn than block e person.....My gosh..hw old r u again????super duper childish!!
*grow up lady!* ure oredi 30plus so behave like 1...Even ppl younger than are more mature in this situation....
newae b4 left work, dut actuali told mi 2 listen 2 Justin Bieber - that shld be me...its totally e song tt is 4 onc...lyric is reli meaningful...after listenin' 2 it bcame emo 4 awhile....
s'peciali tiz few lines in e song....
Do you do what you did when you
did with me?
Does she love you the way I can?
Did you forget all the plans
that you made with me?
'cause baby I didn't!
& also
I need to know should I fight
For our love for this long
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart!!!
E lyrics totally have a super duper indeed a dip meanin' i muz sae...
newae finali......!!!!wen 2 e doc 2 hv mi prescription tat i needed all this while.....im lil hapi coz there's oni 4 pills...hw cn it b enuf wen im gona nid it 4 e nxt 3wks or so?haiz...guez 1 tablet once a wk?hmmmz......e remainin' days wld b other solution......*wink*
hopefuli it'l helped me 2 ease off mi mind thou...otherwise i may nid to go 2 e doc again.....haiz...
hmmz....guez i gtg try 2 zzz nw coz i dun tink onc wil kal mi s usual althou he did text mi quite a bit jz nw so yeah....nitey nitez bloggies
work was so so 2day bt s usual....got scolded by I77LLI a lil wen its nt my fault at all AGAIN!!!argh!!!!hw wld i noe changing the course name wld affect the previous year student?gosh....it's e 2nd time abt FPS which i get e blame 4 no reason....wth........she shld b e 1 informing me about it otherwise hw wld i noe...gosh...nearly 4yrs of experience is obviously beta than a 7mths xperience person rite?duh....N i finali realize she is a childish person....gosh....mad wit ppl stil cn put it inmsn than block e person.....My gosh..hw old r u again????super duper childish!!
*grow up lady!* ure oredi 30plus so behave like 1...Even ppl younger than are more mature in this situation....
newae b4 left work, dut actuali told mi 2 listen 2 Justin Bieber - that shld be me...its totally e song tt is 4 onc...lyric is reli meaningful...after listenin' 2 it bcame emo 4 awhile....
s'peciali tiz few lines in e song....
Do you do what you did when you
did with me?
Does she love you the way I can?
Did you forget all the plans
that you made with me?
'cause baby I didn't!
& also
I need to know should I fight
For our love for this long
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart!!!
E lyrics totally have a super duper indeed a dip meanin' i muz sae...
newae finali......!!!!wen 2 e doc 2 hv mi prescription tat i needed all this while.....im lil hapi coz there's oni 4 pills...hw cn it b enuf wen im gona nid it 4 e nxt 3wks or so?haiz...guez 1 tablet once a wk?hmmmz......e remainin' days wld b other solution......*wink*
hopefuli it'l helped me 2 ease off mi mind thou...otherwise i may nid to go 2 e doc again.....haiz...
hmmz....guez i gtg try 2 zzz nw coz i dun tink onc wil kal mi s usual althou he did text mi quite a bit jz nw so yeah....nitey nitez bloggies
Saturday, 26 March 2011
i tot it was a gr8 dae bt end up it turns out 2 b nt @ e end of it...
wen out wit onc 2 watch gnomeo&juliet...aftr tt was suppoz 2 mit dut & tek2 bt end up mittin' daya instead n wen home aftr tt...daya wasnt feelin' gd by e sound of her voice wen she called...so straight away called my my gfs to say i cnt mit them...wish i cld stay n kip her co. al nite long bt then again i cnt...hw pathetic it is wen cash isnt in favour.....n was tinkin' of mittin' dut & tek2 stil bt dut wasnt able to do so & since tek2 wit boyfie 4 karaoke sessions din felt lk joinin'...n 4 a gal lk mi hu dun do karaoke n suddenly wanting 2 do it means she's totally nt ok ttz wt i said wen tek2 wen she asked...haha...nvr wanted 2 do karaoke until lately jz feel lk doin' so coz sumhw i feel lk in a way it can make me speak out mi mind coz of e meaningful lyrics....weird eh?i noe..hahahaha...
newae i was so hapi initiali wen he said he cn mit mi earlier bt then jz wen i tot e dae wld end up a better 1 it din...sigh.....nt oni did he he nt miz kal to say he reached home bt there wasnt any smses 2 even say his too tired 2 kiz mi thru e fone at all...kal bt to no avail s wel...haiz...i reli wonder why is he doing al this....doesnt he have anymore feelin'z 4 mi or a reminder 2 him that what his doing is just stabbin' mi heart wit his actions?gosh.....
I wish thr's an xpreso 2 b taken in order for me to avoid feelin' lk tiz...
2dae wen i woke up i jz felt lk droppin' him a 'muackzz' msg instead of usual gdmorning msg n he did rplied jz 'muackz'....i wish he'd say y he didnt done e miz kal tingy n rply 2 mi sms bt i guez i'l jz let it slip again...aftral his workin' 2dae n i dun1 2 spoil his day or either way coz i hv limited time wit him left...given e fact tt aftr PD we're goin' separate ways i wish he'd treat me beta...n again im letting evrything 2 slip through each time i realized i hv limited him left..
I understd tt his bz wit work bt i dun gt it despite being bz, he stil can hv e time 2 go into fb n leavin' msgs on his profile then y cnt he msg mi....?haiz....it hurts alot especiali wen im his gf stil at tiz moment...we've gt no trust then nw communication is goin' dwn e drain....
n apparently today he said he wld b accompanying mi 2 buy mi stuff bt i duno if he'd cancel it...hmmz...lets c if i get to see him again 2dae..sumhw i doubt tt we'l b mittin' bt let jz c wt hapenz nxt....
gona do lil house chores so tt i can kip mi mind bz.....meanwhile....e song of 'bila cinta didusta' is in mi mind nw...(e song tt he played wen he knew hassan was contactin' mi) e song nw seems 2 b on a repeat playlist coz ttz wt im feelin' nw....y choose me wen u stil hv a feelin' 4 her n cnt let her go? :'(
newae i was so hapi initiali wen he said he cn mit mi earlier bt then jz wen i tot e dae wld end up a better 1 it din...sigh.....nt oni did he he nt miz kal to say he reached home bt there wasnt any smses 2 even say his too tired 2 kiz mi thru e fone at all...kal bt to no avail s wel...haiz...i reli wonder why is he doing al this....doesnt he have anymore feelin'z 4 mi or a reminder 2 him that what his doing is just stabbin' mi heart wit his actions?gosh.....
I wish thr's an xpreso 2 b taken in order for me to avoid feelin' lk tiz...
2dae wen i woke up i jz felt lk droppin' him a 'muackzz' msg instead of usual gdmorning msg n he did rplied jz 'muackz'....i wish he'd say y he didnt done e miz kal tingy n rply 2 mi sms bt i guez i'l jz let it slip again...aftral his workin' 2dae n i dun1 2 spoil his day or either way coz i hv limited time wit him left...given e fact tt aftr PD we're goin' separate ways i wish he'd treat me beta...n again im letting evrything 2 slip through each time i realized i hv limited him left..
I understd tt his bz wit work bt i dun gt it despite being bz, he stil can hv e time 2 go into fb n leavin' msgs on his profile then y cnt he msg mi....?haiz....it hurts alot especiali wen im his gf stil at tiz moment...we've gt no trust then nw communication is goin' dwn e drain....
n apparently today he said he wld b accompanying mi 2 buy mi stuff bt i duno if he'd cancel it...hmmz...lets c if i get to see him again 2dae..sumhw i doubt tt we'l b mittin' bt let jz c wt hapenz nxt....
gona do lil house chores so tt i can kip mi mind bz.....meanwhile....e song of 'bila cinta didusta' is in mi mind nw...(e song tt he played wen he knew hassan was contactin' mi) e song nw seems 2 b on a repeat playlist coz ttz wt im feelin' nw....y choose me wen u stil hv a feelin' 4 her n cnt let her go? :'(
Friday, 25 March 2011
e life of tinkerbel....work & luv
so here i am again..been'vewanting to do this for ages but never bothered till now...Guez sumhw human jz nid 2 sae it out....
So earlier in e mrg wen 2 work s usual and tinkin' e day wld b fine bt then again it din.....msg onc in e mrg s usual bt s usual no rplies...wen hola he'l jz cancel w/o gettin' bk unlez i sms him then he'l rply....n s usual hw i wish he'd jz spare a min or two jz 2 kal n start out my dae wit a smiley 1 lk he did 1 yr plus ago bt he din instead he he sa yhe nid 2 kal customer n then i saw he left a message in fb sayin' his smokin'..wen i sms him sincerely sayin' if he cnt kal then nvm jz let mi noe, he replied 'wait..wait...cnt wait isit.....gosh...i sincerely sms him tt wae bt end up gettin' tt rply frm him....haiz...
Then there was lunchie wit department coz HQ was goin' on maternity from nxt tue onwards ...tat was another crappy lunchie...s usual felt lil weird bt thk god thr was dave aka bengteck & Jamie...bt stil was lil outcast sumhw...n wt made it worst was wen i told RO tt im headin' 4 prayer she gave tt irritatin' luk of hers s usual...sumtimes i reli wonder wt did i do wrong tt she's givin' e sian face each time i ask or say something to her..lk tt wasnt enuf, aftr lunch hd 2 transfer past years documents 2 another room...while doin' so, one of the stack of documents that was tied with rafia actuali gave in and e stack of documents jz fell...n she gave tt face again...
Wth...!!!argh!!!!lk it was mi fault tt hapen....gosh....!!!
Anyway, Just came back from JB with onc & his camp homies...wen i met him, i jz feel lk thr's a wall btwn us sumhw...bt then again i jz let it slip..in e car also we weren't tt close sumhw....i reli dunoe wt his tinkin' n i reli wish i knew...i wonder his behavin' this way coz of wt i said 'aftr PD we'l go separate ways' or his reaction is tellin' mi tt he'd already chose 2 let me go or & b wit tt gal .....
im tryin' nt tink 2 much bt sumhw my gut feelin' is sayin' so...its reli frustratin' & mentally tirin' 2 b in tiz situation whr u r hangin'....haiz....ive gt 3more wks to go till PD...n i guez ttz al i hv left wit him since he made his decisions already by his reactions i guez....s ppl tend to say 'action speaks louder than words'
hmmz....i bet this time, mi hearts gona b broken even more than previous breakup...i hope godwill gib mi e strength to move on sooner than i expect. N hopefully can stil concentrate on my daily work& nt 2 have sleeplez nitez too..haiz......
i guez tiz is al 4 2nite....
ps ~ i wonder when wil al these shitty feelin' b ovr..
tinkerbel'z outz
So earlier in e mrg wen 2 work s usual and tinkin' e day wld b fine bt then again it din.....msg onc in e mrg s usual bt s usual no rplies...wen hola he'l jz cancel w/o gettin' bk unlez i sms him then he'l rply....n s usual hw i wish he'd jz spare a min or two jz 2 kal n start out my dae wit a smiley 1 lk he did 1 yr plus ago bt he din instead he he sa yhe nid 2 kal customer n then i saw he left a message in fb sayin' his smokin'..wen i sms him sincerely sayin' if he cnt kal then nvm jz let mi noe, he replied 'wait..wait...cnt wait isit.....gosh...i sincerely sms him tt wae bt end up gettin' tt rply frm him....haiz...
Then there was lunchie wit department coz HQ was goin' on maternity from nxt tue onwards ...tat was another crappy lunchie...s usual felt lil weird bt thk god thr was dave aka bengteck & Jamie...bt stil was lil outcast sumhw...n wt made it worst was wen i told RO tt im headin' 4 prayer she gave tt irritatin' luk of hers s usual...sumtimes i reli wonder wt did i do wrong tt she's givin' e sian face each time i ask or say something to her..lk tt wasnt enuf, aftr lunch hd 2 transfer past years documents 2 another room...while doin' so, one of the stack of documents that was tied with rafia actuali gave in and e stack of documents jz fell...n she gave tt face again...
Wth...!!!argh!!!!lk it was mi fault tt hapen....gosh....!!!
Anyway, Just came back from JB with onc & his camp homies...wen i met him, i jz feel lk thr's a wall btwn us sumhw...bt then again i jz let it slip..in e car also we weren't tt close sumhw....i reli dunoe wt his tinkin' n i reli wish i knew...i wonder his behavin' this way coz of wt i said 'aftr PD we'l go separate ways' or his reaction is tellin' mi tt he'd already chose 2 let me go or & b wit tt gal .....
im tryin' nt tink 2 much bt sumhw my gut feelin' is sayin' so...its reli frustratin' & mentally tirin' 2 b in tiz situation whr u r hangin'....haiz....ive gt 3more wks to go till PD...n i guez ttz al i hv left wit him since he made his decisions already by his reactions i guez....s ppl tend to say 'action speaks louder than words'
hmmz....i bet this time, mi hearts gona b broken even more than previous breakup...i hope godwill gib mi e strength to move on sooner than i expect. N hopefully can stil concentrate on my daily work& nt 2 have sleeplez nitez too..haiz......
i guez tiz is al 4 2nite....
ps ~ i wonder when wil al these shitty feelin' b ovr..
tinkerbel'z outz
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